I woke up this morning slightly anxious because my hours are dwindling. No, I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry.
Maybe it’s because there was a reason I left my hometown, and that reason will soon materialize before my eyes.
Accordingly, my little hometown is the 3rd largest city in the country, population-wise. But I still think it’s a small town, thousands of miles away from the big city, filled with small town folk. If I’m still being subtle, American country music is part of my playlist.
Since I come from a small town, it only makes sense that I fill the niche of a small town dreamer – filled with idealistic visions of greatness that can’t be fulfilled.
People choose to either stay in or leave their hometowns. There is no right or wrong answer, because that is just the way it is. Some choose to stay and establish roots where they were born. Some choose the road less travelled and take root somewhere else. I’d like to believe I’m part of the latter.
Studying in the big city for college was an aspiration. But I was not ready, and I slugged it out in our local university. I succeeded, with flying colors, in a course that I never imagined I would do well at: Nursing. I passed the board exam, and I’m technically a nurse, but it took becoming one to realize that, well, the pieces didn’t make sense. Thinking about the next few weeks, months and years as a nurse didn’t feel right. If there’s one thing the past five years have taught me, it’s that I have never felt genuine satisfaction. If it meant knowing my purpose, finding myself in what I do, and thinking long-term and building my plans around this life that I’ve created for myself, then, no, I wasn’t satisfied.
Some undergraduates hold on to the idea that finishing school and getting a degree means smooth and easy sailing through life’s tides. Sure, the feeling of accomplishment is sweet, and there is a natural high that comes from passing the necessary exams. But as soon as your feet hit the ground, you hit it hard, and here comes the bitter pill: it gets harder. That’s probably the same spiel I told my students in our last day of class. Aside from being a registered nurse I was also a part-time English teacher in the same university I graduated from. And, you guessed it (!), I only lasted one semester.
Since then I’ve been technically unemployed. As I’m writing this, I have been enjoying a particularly sweet 9-month vacation. I wouldn’t call myself a bum because it was here that I began to think things through, cook up a storm, and of course, blog.
My friends keep on tossing this around: “iba kapag ginagawa mo na yung gusto mo talagang gawin…kapag nahanap mo na yung passion mo.” (it’s really different once you’ve found the thing that you’ve always wanted to do…once you’ve found your passion).
The same friends who read my blog tell me that they can tell food is something I’m passionate about. Perfect strangers around the world who read my blog (Hi guys!) leave similar comments. I must be on to something.
Food blogging is a godsend, really. My love for food was always there, even when I was a tot, and over the years, my expanding waistline and high school photos could also attest to that. I love food and recently, I tried my hand at cooking and found out I enjoyed it. My techniques aren’t ground breaking, nor am I a prodigy, but I love it so much that nothing really mattered. I love it, and things felt right.
You might say that food has become my niche, the perfect soil bed to take root in. I know I’m being repetitive but it just makes sense.
My hometown can’t sustain this growing love and that’s why I told myself that leaving is necessary. I miss home so much but there are little sacrifices I need to make in order for (and I’m going to be corny here) certain dreams and goals to come true, if I truly want to be somebody one day.
With all the hope in world, I have a certain dream that will come true soon. In less than 24 hours, I’m going to face the reason why I left home in the first place.
And what’s my reason, you might ask?
Well, I’m going to culinary school.
And you have no idea how amazing it felt typing that.